11 Golden Rules for
Communicating with the
Memory Impaired


  • A smile is worth a thousand words.  (People with dementia will mimic our mood and body language more than your words.)
  • Respond not so much to what they are saying but the way they are saying it (their emotions).
  • The goal of caregiving is to promote positive emotions.
  • It's okay to tell "therapeutic fibs" to promote positive emotions.
  • Build on what's left, not on what's lost.
  • Helping does not mean taking over.
  • You can't change their behavior or reaction, so change yours.
  • They can't resist, if you don't insist.
  • They can't remember your reassurances; keep repeating them.
  • Don't try to bring the person with dementia into your reality; it's a losing battle.  Instead, be with them in their reality.
  • Let go of power struggles; people with Alzheimer's disease are always right!  (Once Alzheimer's is diagnosed, the person is excused 100% of the time.)